More Jokes

Mental health jokes

Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say. Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem?

Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly! Lay on the couch, face down.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm

Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?

Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! And how long have you had this complaint? What complaint?

Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! No problem. Hop up on the couch.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket. You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live. Wait a minute please.

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!