Miscellaneous

Act Religious

A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy...

 

Love, Lust, or Marriage?

How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a...

 

(Blank)-gasms!

Sex in a boat - oar-gasms. Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms. Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms. Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms. Sex at the...

 

Dissuasion!

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes to a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the...

 

How Come?

What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough...

 

Tyson Excuses!

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"9. Really wanted to win first prize on...

 

Name That Capital

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you...

 

Two Cow Defined (Classic)

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The...

 

Dying Wives!

"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison...

 

Andy Rooney Quotes

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.I am in shape. Round's a...