Miscellaneous

The Mushroom

A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms here."The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fun guy!"

 

Two Boll Weevils

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted...

 

Years of Bad Sex

A man and his wife of more than 50 years were rocking back and forth on the front porch. Slowly they rocked in rhythm, as this was their time to spend a few...

 

General Kitchy Kitchy

Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.

 

Ticket to Titsburg

A guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an incredible set of jugs.He says, "Give me two pickets to Titsburgh...umm...I mean, two...

 

Good/Bad Car Accident

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good...

 

Who Enjoys Sex More?

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.Why do...

 

Tattoo Parlour

A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.He says:...

 

Some Words of Wisdom

Some Words of Wisdom...The gene pool could use a little chlorine.Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.I didn't fight my way to the top of the...

 

Definitions from Kids

Science definitions from Kids...H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.When you smell...