Miscellaneous

Samples Needed

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen.I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

 

Incompatible

Once heard from a girl who just broke up with someone:My old boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm a virgo and he's an asshole!

 

Fourth Time Married

Jim: Joe, I hear you just got married again. Joe: Yes, for the fourth time.Jim: What happened to your first three wives? Joe: They all died, Jim.Jim: How did...

 

Act of Generosity

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor..."I feel real good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five...

 

So She Would Love You

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her.""But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God...

 

Why Man, Then Woman

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

 

Mens Endowments

God created Adam and informed him that he had given him a brain and a penis. The brain was a good gift as it allowed him to do many things.The penis was also...

 

Dumb,eh?

A man came home a day early from a business trip and discovered his wife in the midst of passionate lovemaking with a total stranger in their bedroom. He...

 

Off The Field

A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman,...

 

Analysis of A Man

Man - A Chemical AnalysisElement: Man Symbol: Ah (short for Asshole) Quantitative: Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4inches....