Miscellaneous

Toddler\'s Creed

If I want it, it's mine.If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.If I can take it away from you, it's mine.If I had it a little while ago,...

 

Having Children Is Like:

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain or, having children will turn you into your parents.

 

Let\'s Swear

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!"As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to...

 

Kids In College

One can pity the father with three kids in college. He tells his wife that they are getting poorer by degrees.

 

Hello Mother, Hello Father (song)

Here I am at Camp Grenada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison...

 

Youngster Theories

From Matt Groening's very funny "Big Book Of Hell", here are some philosophical theories shared by youngsters:If you eat a bunch of fizzies (i.e. pop-rocks...

 

Sibling Stories

From Matt Groening's "Big Book Of Hell", here are: 'Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me'...The Sleeping Alligator Story Older Bro/Sis: See this? He...

 

No Oranges

Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?Son: I don't know, because in school we learn on apples.

 

No Worms Please!

A friend went to the kitchen window to check on her two-year-old son, who was playing in the yard with some older children in the neighbourhood. She was...

 

Tired On 1 April

Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1?Because they had just finished a 31 day March!