Miscellaneous

I\\\\\\\'m A Wheelbarrow

Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around.

 

I\\\\\\\'m a Dustbin

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!

 

Deck of Cards

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!

 

Need the Eggs

Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother? Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken? Sister: Three...

 

I\\\\\\\'m A Chicken

Psychiatrist: What is your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

 

Split Personality

Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!

 

Psychiatrist Definitions

Psychiatrist:1) Mind-sweeper.2) Someone who asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.Psychiatry: The care of the id by the odd.

 

Where\'s My Pen

A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!"

 

No Card

Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out...

 

Proctologist Definitions

Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D....