Miscellaneous

After a Tonsilectomy?

After her operation, the famous lady soap opera star was propped up in bed in her private room, as the doctor did his rounds. "Tell me, how are you feeling...

 

Be Patient

A doctor dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates and checks him in. After he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time:...

 

Getting Better

Patient: Please tell me, doctor, am I getting better? Doctor: I think so. But to be sure, let me feel your wallet...

 

Long Life

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be80. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you!

 

Blonde with Big Tummy

Trish: My tummy is getting awfully big, doctor. Doctor: You should diet. Trish: Really? What color?

 

Driving Examiner

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventually. Liz: But I'm the examiner!

 

Who\'s God?

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God!

 

Bit by Bit

Prisoner: Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this...

 

Lose Weight

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Cut your head off!

 

Preventative Medicine

Mavis: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, really? Mavis: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!