Miscellaneous
Ticklish Tongue
Patient: My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in aluminum foil, what's wrong with me? Doctor: You have far too much free time!
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Being Old and Bent
Patient: Doctor, is there anything worse than being old and bent? Doctor: Yes there is - being young and broke.
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File Your Nails
Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails? Doctor: No, throw them away like everybody else.
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Brown Eye
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
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Invisible Man
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next!
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Live Longer
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
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Memory Pills
Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?
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Big Memory Problem
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything! Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? Patient: What problem?
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Ignored
Patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!
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Can\\\'t See
Patient to optometrist: I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?Optometrist to patient: Don't worry, you won't be...
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