Miscellaneous

How did you know?

A guy goes into a supermarket and buys: * one tin of beans * one bag of chips * one pack of burgers * one tub of ice cream * one cake * one case of beer *...

 

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts:When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather; not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.I always try...

 

The Psychiatric Hotline

"Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to...

 

Psychiatric Christmas Carols

Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?Multiple Personality -- We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia -- I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic --...

 

Viagra alert!

A supply of Viagra was stolen last night, police are looking for two hardened criminals and they can expect stiff sentences when caught!

 

The Suicide

There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 10:00 news. A news reporter was in the foreground, giving a report. In the background there was a man and a...

 

Pushing it!

Q: Why do so many Polish navy personnel drown? A: Because when the engine stops, they all have to get out and push!

 

Little Bastard

Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "Set up everybody in the place!" he...

 

Honeymoon Over

Bridegroom: "Dear, we've been back from the Caribbean for a month now. We've been in our apartment now for nearly a month. Isn't it time we were...

 

Three mistresses

There is is this guy and he has three mistresses. Well, he decides that he only wants to have one, so he has to choose. He decides on a way to choose by...