Miscellaneous

Actual product instructions.

ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:ON A HAIRDRYER:*Do not use while sleeping.ON A BAG OF FRITOS:*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.ON A...

 

Why do....

Why do hummingbirds hum?They forgot the words......

 

Jones or Lewinsky?

Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones.His response: Paula was good, but no cigar.

 

English is tough stuff.

Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquartersnear Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried topronounce...

 

When I die...

When I die I want to go peacefully -- like my grandfather did -- In hissleep.Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

 

Suzy\'s Legs

There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should call his new bar.One guy said, "just name it a pub."...

 

Another miracle?

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what?s the problem?"The mother says, "It?s my daughter Darla, she...

 

Bill Gates and the Lightbulb

Q: How many Bill Gates does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One - he puts it in the socket and lets the world revolve around him.

 

The Blonde Coyote

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap -she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

 

The bored Swede

A swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life ingeneral. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life... ...until one...