More Jokes

Dead and dying jokes

What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes.

What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete.

What's a zombie's favorite pop song? Dead sails in the sunset.

What do you find in a zombie's veins? Dead blood corpuscles.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays? The Dead Sea.

First ghoul: You don't look too well today. Second ghoul: No, I'm dead on my feet.

Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job.

Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat.

If a man was born in England, raised in America and died in Spain, what does that make him? Dead.