More Jokes

Dead and dying jokes

The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff, "Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?" "Course not," replied the Sheriff. "We...

 

Dead and dying jokes

A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad. The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he...

 

Dead and dying jokes

At the inquest into her husband's death by food poisoning Mrs Wally was asked by the coroner if she could remember her husband's last words. "Yes,"...

 

Dead and dying jokes

A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friend's wife has died. When he knocks on the door, he gets no...

 

Dead and dying jokes

"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher. " 'Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . ." "Fred," said the teacher. "You must have...

 

Dead and dying jokes

Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door! Don't worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through.

 

Dead and dying jokes

What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits.

 

Dead and dying jokes

How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye

 

Dead and dying jokes

My brother's a professional boxer. Heavyweight ? No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !

 

Dead and dying jokes

A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home. 'I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died,' said the monster. 'Certainly...