More Jokes

Dead and dying jokes

Doctor, doctor, I feel dead from the waist down. I'll arrange for you to be halfburied.

 

Dead and dying jokes

Waiter, waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his family?

 

Dead and dying jokes

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case.

 

Dead and dying jokes

Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left? Girl: One - the dead one!

 

Dead and dying jokes

Did you hear about the do-it-yourself funeral? They just loosen the earth and you sink down by yourself.

 

Dead and dying jokes

Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?

 

Dead and dying jokes

Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

 

Dead and dying jokes

I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well, we had to, you know, she was dead.

 

Dead and dying jokes

A monster and a zombie went into the undertaker's. "I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died," said the monster. "Certainly,...

 

Dead and dying jokes

Did you hear someone has invented a coffin that just covers the head? It's for people like you who're dead from the neck up!