Miscellaneous

Crushed Nuts?

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please."The...

 

10 reasons to buy a new car...

10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.9. Instead of an air bag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.8....

 

I can hear clearly now...

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.Mary: Are you wearing it now?Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line.Mary:...

 

Ladies - here's the Pefect Man!

After careful consideration and endless debate The Perfect Man has finally been named!He's tan!*******He's cute!*******He knows the importance of...

 

Sure signs that you're broke!

1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.3. You're...

 

The Missionary!

A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island...

 

The Mummy!

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a...

 

Sure signs it's your last day at work.

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you suddenly realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox and gave her...

 

Products we could do without!

Fingernail Clippers:That's why we have teeth.Makeup That is Tattooed on:You might love that green eyeliner now, but what about when you're fifty?Colored...

 

More great Blonde shorties!

How did the blonde die drinking milk?The cow stepped on her.What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?Frosted Flakes!What is it when a blonde blows into...