Miscellaneous

Things in Life I've Learned.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I've learned that no matter how much I care,...

 

The talking peanut.

This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, 'hey there...

 

The workers prayer!

For those of you who may need it...A Prayer for the Stressed!Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I...

 

Wrong instructions.

A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter`s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure.As the daughter was exiting the...

 

Burlesque Show

The kid ran out of the burlesque show.The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter.The kid said, "My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I'd...

 

Calling the shots.

I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office the other day when the doctor started yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!" I went up to the nurse and asked...

 

What denomination?

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards."What Denomination?" Asked the clerk."Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the...

 

Hunting Trip.

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an...

 

Nosy husband...

My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps writing in her diary!

 

The religious bear.

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were...