Miscellaneous

Optician

A man goes into the optician and asks for his eyes to be tested because he suspected short sightedness. The optician took the man outside and pointed to the...

 

No Chance

Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by.After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway....

 

How many mimes?

Q. How many mimes does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. 2, the trick is getting them IN there.

 

Liberal Episcopalians

Q: Hey... Did you here about the new Episcopal Church that justopened up?A: They are so liberal that they have 6 commandments and 4suggestions.

 

In the Bathroom

If you're an American when you're out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?European! (You're a Peein')And if you really gotta go...

 

Turtle and a Blonde?

What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?When they're on their back their both fucked!

 

Nag Nag Nag!

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his...

 

Windows 95

Why can't dogs use computers?Because you can't stick your head out of Windows XP

 

String Joke

A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender replies "I'm sorry, We don't serve strings"The string, angry, runs to the bathroom...

 

Blondes and Bras

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra? They'll be square because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.