Miscellaneous

Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for...

 

Signs You're from New York

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill. You have never been to the...

 

You Know You're Too Stressed If...

You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. The Sun is too loud. Trees begin to chase you. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V....

 

Recalled Christmas Toys

Broken Bag-O-Glass Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook Timothy McVays home Chemistry set Switchblade Barney Pork-n-Beany...

 

You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse...

 

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

What do you mean today's our anniversary? Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!! And for...

 

Signs Christmas Has Become To Commercial

You don't recall that line from It's A Wonderful Life saying, "Every time a cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at...

 

Signs Your Car Might Be A Lemon

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca." Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan. Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your...

 

Things Learned From Children

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. 2....

 

20 Things a Guy Learned From Action Movies

1. No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare...